DFS: Detachment From the Storms

Photo CR: Tomas Vyšniauskas

Photo CR: Tomas Vyšniauskas

There is so much FREEDOM and PEACE to experience when your feelings are not dictated by your circumstances.

Recently, I went through a season of what ever can go wrong does. It started with strong feelings of anxiety and worry when I made a drastic decision to move back to the US for my family. Everything changed overnight fast. When panic came over a few areas of my life, a friend invited me to an evening of meditation at a yoga studio. It was an awesome moment of clarity, a chance to pray and dialogue with God. The instructor mentioned something about this being an “abundance” meditation of inviting increase into our lives. She said don’t be surprised if you receive unexpected blessings after tonight. Sure! Sounds great.

My first surprise that next morning was a ticket for using my phone while driving (bad habit, I know!). Not quite the abundance I had in mind. Later that evening, I raced to the kitchen to greet dad, slipped on the marble floor and slammed my ass on the cold hard surface. The kind of fall where your head rings and bruises appear in shades of blue. I was in negotiations of selling a few items and the deals all fell through. The next day I had a wonderful weekend planned of hiking, exploration and surfing. The moment I landed in L.A. for the weekend, fireworks went off between my friend and I, not the sweet, romantic kind. The type of explosion where you accidentally light the entire box of TNT and there’s no light show to admire, just choking smoke. This! All in the span of 72 hours.

There was a point where I shut down and adopted a poker face, simply because I didn’t know what to feel. It was all too much, a string of small mishaps, but combined it was overwhelming.

Have you ever had moments in your life, where you were sitting in the middle of a storm feeling like “what is going on?!” Life isn’t perfect and sometimes a lot of poop happens. You can attribute it to luck, karma, astrology or sin, pick your poison. What matters most is how we react to the storm. Typically, I’d have a pity party and feel sorry for myself… woe is me, victim, victim, victim. But the intensity of it all got to a point where I just broke out in laughter because it seemed like a circus gone wrong.

I detached my typical feelings of anger, disappointment and self-pity from the circumstances and tried to find ways to be grateful for the lessons learned. I’m glad I got ticketed; someone could have been seriously hurt from my carelessness. Now I don’t run into the kitchen with socks on. Maybe my prices were too high and the market doesn’t lie. I’ve learned not to plan so much in a weekend and ways I can better communicate with people I care about. In fact, those were all wonderful opportunities from which I could learn and grow. I learned to let go and forgive others and myself. I realized no matter what happens, my happiness or mood isn’t dependent on my circumstances. As Zig Ziglar says, never let the weather dictate how you feel because everyday is an outstanding day that is getting better.

Sh$% storms will come and go. If you find yourself in one remember that we don’t have to absorb the negative feelings that arise, regardless of who or what is at fault. That’s the great thing about being human and having a brain, we can process, re-wire and change our minds. It really is a choice. Our choice. We have the power to convert the negative feelings into joy and learn from our circumstances. Though, it may take a few blows to get there, that place of peace, serenity and joyful surrender.